Let Your Heart Be Light

14 Dec

I just needed to find the frozen dinner rolls and I would be all set.  I was making ham biscuits.  Ham biscuits that I really liked.  They were savory and easy.  As a bonus it was a Lynchburg recipe, a Junior League of Lynchburg recipe.  Yummy!

Where were they? I walked up and down the aisle with Susie, searching. Searching for something that was not going to be found because it wasn’t there. “You know, the ones that are in the round foil tray? The yeasty ones?” “What about these?” she countered. “No it has to be this certain kind.” And so once again we walked up and down the aisles, perusing the end caps, but still coming up empty handed.

“Could you just use some of the refrigerated ones? You know, roll them out and make them?” I wasn’t so sure. “Maybe Safeway has them…”

So we drove across the street to look. I walked down the aisle and found the space where the frozen breads were located. Nothing. Well, they had rolls, but not the ones I needed. Sister Schubert was nowhere to be found. I pressed my hands up against the glass and peered in, willing them to be there.

Please. I thought. This is so small and so silly, but it matters to me. It matters because it’s the way I always do it. It matters because sometimes it slams into me like a semi truck that I am not home, and things are not the same. I need this to be the same.

“I’m sorry I’m being so crazy about this.”

And I was, but I just couldn’t let it go. I went to bed with visions of parker house rolls dancing in my head. Why didn’t they have them? It wasn’t a specialty item.

I woke up and checked my email. A cute picture from a friend, a thank you email. It was silly and fun. And then I felt homesick for the way things used to be. Because I still do sometimes. I think everyone does, whether you’ve been somewhere forever or just for awhile.

But life marches on. Swirling swiftly around you like a breeze, taking with it weeks, months, and seasons. Carrying time. The very nature of life is that shifting and changing.

Nothing remains the same but somehow in between the low moments of not wanting to let go there are divine peaks that allow you to look out over the sum of your journey and see just how beautiful it all is – way back when, right now, and even what is to come.

I’m climbing on up. I want my heart to be “merry and bright” because it is that kind of heart.

Besides, who doesn’t want a ham biscuit crescent roll. It could sweep the nation…

And dad, can you pick up some Sister Schubert’s for Christmas dinner?

*Christmas photos:  2007-2010 – Extra proof that change is deliciously and wonderfully good.

5 Responses to “Let Your Heart Be Light”

  1. Kathy December 14, 2011 at 3:08 pm #

    crescent rolls sound worderful! light ans tasty!! New tradition!

  2. JustHeather December 16, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

    I feel your longing for memories and things to be just they way they are at home. It definitely was much harder in the beginning, but there are still moments where I’m shocked back into remembering and longing. I hope you find your crescent rolls or at least an acceptable second.

    Thank you for your kind words today.

    • Sarah December 17, 2011 at 11:13 am #

      The crescent roll ham biscuits were pretty good! Haha! I guess it was a freak out moment for nothing. ;o) I do that a lot.

  3. Asia December 16, 2011 at 9:23 pm #

    Appalachian Mountains – Cascade Mountains. Atlantic – Pacific. Deciduous Trees – Evergreen Trees. Sweet Tea – Chai Tea. Ham Biscuits – Ham Crescent Rolls. 😉

  4. Sarah December 17, 2011 at 11:13 am #

    Love this. And I’m glad you finally know what a ham biscuit, er, crescent roll is!

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