Motherhood is Not a Competitive Sport

10 Jan

The last time I checked motherhood wasn’t a competitive sport. There are no Olympic trials. No medals. If this is true then why is it that the longer I’m in the world of motherhood the more I experience this phenomenon.

“Settle down.”  Hank

Your child started walking? Well, their child was walking 6 months ago…on water.

Your child ate *gasp* a green vegetable? Well, their child only consumes green food…prepared by their own tiny baby hands in their own personal baby gourmet kitchen with granite countertops.

Your child peed on the potty? Their child eliminates liquid gold which they fashion into jewelry to sell on Etsy.

Of course, I’m exaggerating, but you probably do know one or two of the mothers to which I refer.

And I’m sure they are great mothers. Fantastic! Their kids will be just fine after a little therapy.

But if motherhood is going to be a competitive sport I’m tagging out.

I’d much rather play a pick-up game with the moms I’ve found that want to play alongside you. Through wins and losses — home runs and strike outs.

Hip Hip Hooray to them!

Yep.  That’s a pile of laundry I could be folding instead of writing this.

And that bear?  His diaper hasn’t been changed for weeks.

26 Responses to “Motherhood is Not a Competitive Sport”

  1. keli January 10, 2012 at 1:15 pm #

    amen. so so true. i wrote a post very similar to this a while ago, because i get so tired of the competition and the mommy wars. we’re all just doing the best we can.

    • Sarah January 10, 2012 at 10:30 pm #

      It’s really frustrating. I try and push that kind of toxic situation out of my mind, but every now and then I find myself face to face with it. Most of us want our children to be accepting, kind, and loving, yet sometimes that message is lost when things get competitive and judgemental. I remember that post it was one of the first I ever read. I forwarded it to my mom it was so eloquent! Thanks for being a blogging mama I totally appreciate!

  2. April January 10, 2012 at 1:39 pm #

    You made me laugh out loud on this one. I’m going to read this whenever I need a smile. 🙂

    • Sarah January 10, 2012 at 10:25 pm #

      Haha!!! I must have picked up some wit from my good friend, April. ;o)

  3. Jen January 10, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

    Wait til they hit HS and the preAP or AP classes…when discussing their kid’s academic and extra curricular activities as if it were their own accomplishment. Saw it with our oldest child so long ago and when they hear your child is only taking ONE AP class or NO AP class…well, theirs are taking ALL AP and some college classes off campus, too (insert walking on water and eliminating liquid gold). It was hard because we-all of us as parents- know how smart our own kids are and a school class or grade doesn’t tell the story. I am happy for any of my child’s accomplishments, share in their pride and cheer them on and support them unconditionally, but I always know it is THEIRS, not mine. They earned it, worked it, sweated it and gained it. It does not reflect back on me except in the smile on my face as I beam back at them.

    • Sarah January 10, 2012 at 10:25 pm #

      Oh how right you are! “Their” accomplishments. We are just lucky to be a part of the journey. Your thoughts are always beautifully expressed and right on the money.

  4. Jody Turner January 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

    Unfortunately Sarah, some of these moms never change! Their child’s wedding, law school, etc. isn’t to be touched in comparison to my kids ;-). I tagged out long ago, but you definitely learned this early in motherhood than I did!

    • Jody Turner January 10, 2012 at 5:15 pm #

      “earlier” than I did….:-)

    • Sarah January 10, 2012 at 10:24 pm #

      I guess it is true (and unfortunate) that this side of parenting doesn’t go away. Lucky for me I’ve met incredible mamas, like you, that keep me focused on what really matters. Besides, I’d much rather be a Turner and get a fun trip to St. John than go to the best law school! ;o) Painkiller, please?

  5. Ashleigh January 10, 2012 at 5:32 pm #

    I couldn’t have said it better myself! I’d love to play along side you any day 🙂

    • Sarah January 10, 2012 at 10:22 pm #

      Wouldn’t that be fun?!

  6. Asia January 10, 2012 at 5:56 pm #

    Oh my gosh, I am so happy to read this post. I got a tease in the car when I looked at my phone (I know, naughty naughty, but I was checking the time!) and this email was on my screen. I got this a million times over tonight from people who HAVEN’T had toddlers in 30 years. Their kids where sleeping through the night from birth, and bringing them breakfast in bed to boot! Thanks for all the pick-up games!! But now that you mention it… Olivia could use some granite on one of her kitchens! 😉

    • Sarah January 10, 2012 at 10:22 pm #

      No blog reading while driving! I’m glad you waited. I’m also glad that you are there to high five with me over laundry piles and sudden onset tantrums. We’ll work on that granite counter top for Olivia, Abigail would benefit, too. HA!

  7. Becky Williams January 10, 2012 at 5:59 pm #

    I love you Sarah…you”re so Smart and if you have already figured this out you have saved yourself years of stress and worry that amounts to nothing! Your kids may not even want to go to college straight out of high school even if they did get a 1310 on their SAT’s GASP! Guess what…it is OK! Life goes on and they are still happy and wonderful adults! PS…that was Laura’s favorite book!

    • Sarah January 10, 2012 at 10:20 pm #

      Love you, too. Thanks for being a wonderful example of a loving mother. I feel disappointed that other people resort to judgement and competition when we all just really need to support and celebrate each other and all children.

  8. Kathy January 12, 2012 at 8:08 am #

    Amen!!! “Little League Parents” are every where. It is way more fun to play and nurture your children than to have to a perfect house! Ha

    Mike always told me do you want a clean house ordo you want Elizabeth? THen he said you can always wrok on the house when she goes to college….NOT I will be way to old and tired!

    I love the laundry piles as I am looking at mine in the laundry room! which I feft to check out your blog! You made my DAY! now back to my laundry before she comes home from school

    Love you !

    • Sarah January 13, 2012 at 12:56 pm #

      HAHA! I love Mike’s perspective. He’s a good egg! I still have a laundry pile, a different laundry pile, but there is still one all the same. It never ends…why fight it. ;o)

  9. Joy January 13, 2012 at 4:52 am #

    I really don’t have time to reply, but was baffled by this post…not sure what you are talking about?! Maybe we can debate it one day over an organic tofu wrap around my marble counter top, but for now I must go, Henry needs to begin his Mandarin Chinese lessons and Georgie is finished painting to classical music.

    • Sarah January 13, 2012 at 12:55 pm #

      Henry hasn’t started his Mandarin Chinese yet? Oh tsk, tsk.

  10. Life with Kaishon January 13, 2012 at 6:51 am #

    It gives me a headache when people are like this. A big stinking headache.

    • Sarah January 13, 2012 at 12:54 pm #

      Haha! Totally.

  11. Shelly Coulter January 13, 2012 at 1:41 pm #

    I agree! 🙂

  12. Lindsay January 13, 2012 at 8:37 pm #

    Love loooooove loooooooooooooooooooooooooove!

    Just sing that to yourself cause I was singing it about how much I love this post!

    Jonathan thinks maybe you should be a columnist…as I just read another one of your posts out loud to him. 🙂

    Hope you are having an excellent beginning to 2012!

  13. Just Ramblin' Pier January 16, 2012 at 6:59 am #

    Hank is adorable! You have learned a lifelong lesson of motherhood…while others play the “Jones” game (a.k.a. I am better than…), it is best to be just that… the best mother you can be to yours and to let go of the garbledygoop of ‘outdoing’ others. (Yes, that is a word…in my world at least!) You have a great blog. : )

  14. Kelly Richardson January 16, 2012 at 10:54 am #

    Just now getting time to catch up on your blogs- and I’m glad I took the time! You are SO right- I really never tagged in – I guess so I didn’t have to tag out! You know the best thing for your child is her parents. The ‘one up’ moms aren’t doing their children any favors- reality check comes soon enough, and BTW- Karma begins with a capital K!

    • Sarah January 16, 2012 at 2:16 pm #

      It’s exhausting to be around people like that. I’ve decided to remove myself from those situations. Toxic! You can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends…

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