Owning It

24 Feb

I talk about being far from home a lot because it’s hard. My life is peppered with homesickness. Sometimes my life is seasoned perfectly. I barely notice that I am away, I’m filled with new or comforting flavors. But sometimes my homesickness hits me like an overly spiced dish that lingers on and on, the only remedy – time.

The internal struggle I feel between here and there, now and then is one that I am working on. It has nothing to do with the place I’m in or the people I’ve met. It is only a result of the circumstances that have happened, a path that we chose, and my personality.

So I do my best to march on and keep my head up. You can’t back up in life. You can only move forward.

A toddler teaches this best.  So when I feel the heat of homesickness rushing through my soul, I look to Abigail to pull me through.

This is the only home she knows and she owns it. Sit knee to knee with her and you will see exactly what I mean.

“Touch. Touch.” She tells me as she shows me her shovel. Dig deep, get messy, feel something. So small, so wise.

The beach today was humming with people, many who are in town for the Seafood and Wine Festival. I liked it. They are here to enjoy our home, my home, too.

“Duck. Duck.” Abigail calls to an approaching sea gull and four adults walk by. Pointing to the sea she tells them “Water, Oh-shen” as if it’s an insider secret. Proud as can be. Owning it.

I’m doing the best I can and when my sister and cousin arrive in two weeks I’ll be as proud as a peacock to show off my little coastal town. I do love it here. But I also love it somewhere else and that’s okay.

Sea salt and pepper are quite the combination. I’m lucky to have both in my heart and one day, maybe sooner than I think, I will discover that my life is perfectly balanced between the two.

Until then, I’m working hard at chasing the homesickness away with the help of one fearless toddler.

Shoo. Fly! (And the period is intentional.)

11 Responses to “Owning It”

  1. Heather Cavaliere February 24, 2012 at 3:09 pm #

    LOVE. you are perfect at writing. I so enjoy the way you put your feelings down on [virtual] paper. I am working on the august thing. 🙂

    • Sarah February 25, 2012 at 7:21 am #

      Thanks, Heather. I hope it can work out for August, too. I’m still waiting to hear back. Miss you bunches and more!

  2. Becky Williams February 24, 2012 at 4:33 pm #

    Miss you too,Sarah!

    • Sarah February 25, 2012 at 7:22 am #

      Can’t wait until our next visit. Hopefully this summer sometime. :o) Miss you so much!

  3. Gretchen February 24, 2012 at 4:56 pm #

    This post crushed my heart! I know exactly what you mean. (((hugs))) hope I can deliver one in person tomorrow.

    • Sarah February 25, 2012 at 7:23 am #

      Oh to have you here as a friend means so much. You really do understand. Thanks for being there for us!

  4. Kelly February 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm #

    Ok- am tearing up….. you are at home- BUT just remember that you guys will be back home (east coast) sooner or later ( I’m hoping for sooner), but the time you are able to spend with Abligail in such an awesome environment, is my friend, as priceless and precious as those loaded sprinkle cookies on Valentine’s Day! If only I could take Jackson and Cass for a walk on the beach everyday……. miss you and love you all! We LOVE and look forward to your blogs!

    • Sarah February 25, 2012 at 7:23 am #

      You are so right, Kelly. I try and keep that in mind when I’m feeling sad. Thank you for sharing this. I needed it. Well said! Love you!

  5. Mike Guschke February 24, 2012 at 6:03 pm #

    Dear Sarah,

    Thanks for sharing your shadow, your heart, your joy (bliss), and those wonderful moments and encounters with our creator!


    • Sarah February 25, 2012 at 7:24 am #

      Love you, Dad. Can’t wait to see you very very soon! Bliss!

  6. Melisa Kennedy February 25, 2012 at 9:11 am #

    I totally understand where you are coming from. Relocating to a new place and trying to fully embrace it is like a tug-of-war in your heart. Last night, after listening to Wayne Dyer’s final C.D., In-Spiration, which I highly recommend, had me in tears and missing my mom. Thank goodness for cell phones, texting, and emailing to keep our loved ones close to our heart and relieve the ache of separation. Hang in there, Sarah! I love the way you are truly trying to embrace each moment and appreciate life through the eyes of your sweetness…Abigail. Big hugs to you, my friend.

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