I was way behind on housework, embarrassingly behind. That’s what gorgeous weather and a barrel full of excuses will get you.
I have been slowly trying to put everything back together. “I just got so behind when we had all of our visitors…” Um, our last visitors left many moons ago.
Catching up on housework hasn’t gone as quickly as I had hoped. Apparently toddlers need to go outside, eat from time to time, and listen to certain blue grass songs their fathers have introduced them to on continuous repeat while playing that wooden stick instrument.
This week I’ve been managing meltdowns, many of which revolve around the washing machine clicking on and having a toddler who apparently lives in fear of the day “Rabbit” will be washed again, dipping into my reserves of patience, and trying to make it seem like I’ve accomplished something even though toys never stay picked up, dirty dishes keep appearing, and Hank continues to shed like it’s his job.
Each day when naptime rolled around I felt drained. I took time to catch up on a couple of TV shows, read a magazine or two, and even took a nap one day. When Abigail woke up I had had some “me” time, but then we were right back in the midst of chaos.
As mothers, we need that time for ourselves and we need to be able to enjoy it without feeling guilty about it. But that’s not what I was doing. I was doing anything and everything I could to avoid what needed to be done. I was frustrated I wasn’t going to be able to knock out what I needed to do in an uninterrupted power session of clean! I wanted to stand in the middle of the house and look around at everything spic and span and hear the applause.
So today I did something different, I worked through Abigail’s naptime in peace and quiet. The only sounds being the sizzle of dinner being prepped and the hum of the dryer. I didn’t put on music. I didn’t talk on the phone. I didn’t waste time on the computer.
I positioned myself to be in a better place when Abigail woke up. There wouldn’t be the scramble of the dinner rush and we could go outside for our afternoon fun. More clean laundry was ready to be put away.
There is still a long list of things I need to do, but for me, crossing off a couple of things seems always spirals into more.
And I wonder if sometimes when I’m searching for that “me” time it’s not about needing to watch a certain TV show or flip through a magazine. Maybe it’s about finding an opportunity to clear my head and have some peace, giving myself a chance to recharge before we drive into rush hour once again.
I’ve got the peace thing down.