Testing 1,2,3

23 May

If I could sum up my week so far it would parallel the track of a hurricane. Toddler drama was high and power struggles were around every bend. I may have cried a little in frustration yesterday, but that’s just how I am. I cry a little sometimes. I don’t know where Abigail gets it from.

Today I think the eye of the storm is upon us. It has been more peaceful, relief flooding the hours. I cannot predict the end of this little storm she’s brewing. I know it’s probably not “over.” That’s okay.  We love her, bags under our eyes because of it, and all.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012 – Weathering a storm requires a lesson on rainbow coloring.

I believe in honest sharing so this is where we are. We are not in blissdom, we are in, well, reality. Today I thank my immaculate kitchen for part of the serenity I feel. (Must strive to have an immaculate kitchen at least weekly…or at least invent sanitizer for dog mouths so Hank can start keeping the counters wiped down.)

I am happy for the human experience. Part of that human experience is learning to separate your successes and your setbacks, recognizing that there will be both in your life, and moving forward accordingly. I’ve had some practice with this in the last couple of years.

I know one day I will be at a place like my parents. A place where grown-up Abigail calls me with her child screaming in the background and she’s telling me how she’s drained and out of patience, seemingly on the verge of tears.  Maybe her daughter has been getting overly upset when you put on the wrong jacket or tell her it’s time to brush her teeth or try and help her make a pillow tunnel because she just can’t quite do it on her own yet, (this is all hypothetical of course), and she will ask me what I did when she was little and I will say, “Oh honey, I just don’t remember.”

Whether I actually do remember or if it is a secret strategy designed by those who have been through stormy weather to help those in the midst of it remains to be seen.  The gift being the fact that one day it will be a blur, a blip on the radar of your life.  In other words the knowledge that others have been there and survived to forget about it.

But one thing is certain, there are a million things I want to remember about this time in Abigail’s life. Today I made a choice, thank you immaculate kitchen where all things were good and tidy, I chose to focus on the things I cherish about Abigail on May 23, 2012.

Like her love of filling up purses with hodge-podge collections…

Coach purse. Fancy.

And dumping them out.  

Examining moths…

And feeding them “hamburger dinner”

Channeling Vincent Van Gogh…

Reading, always reading…

And of course, her relationship with Susie…

To the more astute observer I will also confirm her love for unkept, Jersey shore hair and 48 hours in the same pajama top.

So what should we choose to focus on?  The fact that for the greater part of three days it has been a test of patience and stamina or do we narrow our focus to those small but crystal clear moments of goodness.

It’s up to us.

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6 Responses to “Testing 1,2,3”

  1. Kelly May 23, 2012 at 8:05 pm #

    Cass had the same little purple purse and filled it to the brim and beyond and said, “Mommy, pick up!”, and I did! She’s growing up so fast! I still cry – it’s my therapy – and I DO feel better afterwards! As far as the hurricane, they have several built in from a Cat 1 to 5! xoxox

    • Sarah May 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm #

      I have a feeling hurricane season has started around here. And I cry with you in solidarity. XO!

  2. Mom May 24, 2012 at 4:05 am #

    But, Sarah, you WILL remember! That will be a great time to give Abigail her very own copy of these blogs!!!! And I love Kelly’s Category 1 to 5 reference. Knowing which one you’re in for at any given time will help you “prepare”!! But I do know that in the long run, it is the happy times you’ll remember–I promise!! Love you.

    • Sarah May 24, 2012 at 6:55 am #

      What should I say when I hand them over? At one time you were a little bugger, too? Do you think she’ll have time to read them in between 12 hour doctor shifts?

  3. Kathy May 24, 2012 at 4:51 am #

    HA!!!!! 12 years ago we were in the same place! It is so funny to look back…..and what we had this weekend was an almost 15 year old TORNADO! Thanks goodness her monthly visitor came monday and our sweet child is back.

    But sadly my kitchen is still a wreck. Maybe that will be my project today. Do you promise it will make the eye of the storm wonderful HA! Love you! Kathy

    • Sarah May 24, 2012 at 6:57 am #

      I do think Abigail and Elizabeth have a lot in common! I guess stormy weather comes in all types at all ages, do you get any more sleep or do you stay up worrying instead? Go clean that kitchen! It totally helps~

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