Who knew the phrase, “Oh, and bring something a little dressy. We got a babysitter for the girls on Saturday night” would ever strike fear in my heart.
Dressy? Sigh. This used to be a no brainer. In fact, I used to feel like I had more “dressy” clothes than casual clothes. Part of the fun of a girls’ night out or a date with my husband was picking out what I was going to wear. Sure I might deliberate over a pair of shoes or earrings, but the mission of getting dressed was no problem.
Now I looked at my closet, meager from the massive purge I did recently, and terror struck me. Everything I tried on was too fancy, too faded, too blah, too wrong season, or just TOO. And gosh darn it I didn’t want to look *whisper* fat. Now, I don’t think I’m fat. Seriously. But like most women I have areas that I would like to improve and when I look into the mirror I started to fall into the trap of picking on myself.
If I was just an inch taller these pants would look better. Why is this so tight on my stomach. These jeans make my butt look huge. Blah. Blah. I’m not good enough.
And then I stopped myself, walked away from the clothes that weren’t good enough, and took a shower.
The one thing I was adament about when I realized we were having a baby girl was that I never EVER wanted her to hear me talking negatively about the way I looked. I didn’t want her to hear me say I was fat or needed to diet or that I felt gross or ugly. No way. I wanted to feel confident in who I was and what I looked like so that hopefully (fingers crossed) she would learn by example and know that the person she is and will become is good enough, more than good enough, a beautfiful person inside and out.
I stepped out of the shower and adjusted my attitude as I headed to the closet. I pulled out my favorite sweater of the moment, blew the dust off of a funky necklace, decided on a pair of sandals I rarely get to wear, and even threw in a cocktail ring for good measure. All of a sudden I’m excited about getting dressed up and going out for a delicious dinner with our friends. Good enough.
And I hope I can do my best to keep negative self worth words away from sweet Abigail’s ears because it would be so incredibly fantastic if one day she felt good enough to do anything.
The Oregon Tail 
this is a beautiful post, sarah. and i needed the reminder to keep negative words away from my girls. thank you! [i covet that sweater!!]
Thanks! It’s about as fancy as I get these days. ;o)
Good reading- you’re so right- keep the negative self imposed demons out of ears reach! Our children’s ears need to hear more positive comments!
They really do. But so do grown ups, too! Love you, Kelly!
my beautiful friend, you are stunning on the outside and gorgeous on the in! abigail has a wondeful role model mommy! and by the way, love, love, love your outfit choice! borrow some of abigail’s pink polish; because it is amazing that painted toes can make you walk taller, smile brighter, and just make you sashay a little more š have a fab date!
I love you, friend! Can’t wait to see you soon!